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In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on Oct. 7, 2026, Robert G. Fishman describes how a series of paintings helped him understand his mother’s dementia and change how he relates to her. He says he stopped trying to correct her and began meeting her within the world she experiences; the account is personal testimony, not a clinical report.
Artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman says painting helped him accept his mother’s dementia and shift from correcting her to joining her in the reality she experiences. In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on Oct. 7, 2026, Fishman recounts how he developed the series “The Art of Forgetting” while coping with his mother’s memory loss and the changes in their relationship.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother daily after she was widowed in 1999 and initially interpreted changes in her behavior as ordinary aging. By age 94, she was struggling to use her phones. During a visit in late 2023, he found her apartment in serious disrepair, with an empty refrigerator and a strong smell of cat urine. A neurologist diagnosed her with early-stage dementia, according to Fishman, but his mother rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing.
He says their phone conversations had obscured the extent of the changes: she still sounded like herself, and he had missed signs of difficulty in her daily life. He persuaded her to move from Florida to Maryland, closer to family. Later, she moved into a memory care unit near his home. Fishman does not describe the move as resolving the emotional strain. He writes that he felt grief, anger and guilt, and sometimes corrected or yelled at his mother when she could no longer do familiar things.
After retiring, Fishman had returned to painting. He began making landscapes and then repeatedly repainting them with fewer details, calling the works “Deconstructed Landscapes.” He came to see the diminishing forms as a way of representing his mother’s changing memory. Four paintings later formed the series “The Art of Forgetting.” Fishman says the process helped him recognize that, even as memories faded, emotion, connection and their relationship remained.
How the Paintings Changed His Visits
Fishman’s account describes a change in how one family member responds to dementia: instead of insisting that his mother recall facts or return to her former way of thinking, he now tries to engage with her where she is. He writes that he enters her world rather than trying to bring her back into his. That shift matters to readers who are caring for or visiting a person with dementia because it shows the emotional adjustment involved alongside practical decisions such as moving closer to family and arranging memory care.
The essay also gives a concrete example of art serving as a personal means of processing loss. Fishman does not claim his paintings treat dementia or change its course. He presents them as a way to make sense of an experience he found difficult to describe and to alter his own response. His central distinction is that memory loss does not mean a person has disappeared—a reflection on his relationship, rather than a medical conclusion about dementia.
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From Daily Calls to Memory Care
Fishman’s mother had lived alone in Florida after being widowed twice, he writes. At around 91, she moved to an independent living facility because she no longer wanted to cook and clean. Her mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 73 and died seven years later; Fishman says his mother had feared experiencing the same illness. When she was still doing well at 93, he believed she had avoided that fate.
The account traces a sequence of changes rather than a single turning point: difficulty using phones, the deteriorating apartment Fishman found in late 2023, a neurologist’s diagnosis, relocation to Maryland and a later move to memory care. Fishman’s mother refused local assisted living in Florida, telling her family, “Over my dead body.” His narrative focuses on what he learned about his own reactions as those practical arrangements changed.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, in his Being Patient essay
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What the Essay Does Not Establish
The account is Fishman’s personal narrative, not a medical study or a report independently examining his mother’s diagnosis. It does not provide her medical records, the results of any cognitive testing, or further clinical details. Fishman says a neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia and that his mother declined additional testing, but the essay does not specify the assessment or subsequent clinical course.
The source also does not say how his mother responds to the paintings or describe the full details of their visits. Fishman’s reflections explain what helped him cope; they do not establish that painting or a particular approach to conversation will have the same effect for other families. The mother’s own perspective is not included.
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His Visits Continue Near Home
At the time of the essay, Fishman says his mother lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home. He describes continuing to visit her with a different aim: to share time and connection rather than test or correct her memory. The source does not identify a new public exhibition, a planned project or a further medical milestone. The next development described is therefore ongoing family life and Fishman’s effort to meet his mother as she is now.
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Key Questions
What is the news development?
Being Patient published a first-person essay by Robert G. Fishman on Oct. 7, 2026, about his mother’s dementia and how making art helped him change his approach to their relationship.
What are the “Deconstructed Landscapes”?
They are paintings Fishman made by repainting landscapes while removing details from each version. He says he later understood the process as a way to represent his mother’s changing memory.
What does Fishman say changed in his visits?
He says he stopped trying to correct his mother or make her remember and instead tries to enter her world. He describes this as a personal change, not a treatment recommendation.
Where is Fishman’s mother now?
In the essay, Fishman says she lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home. The source does not provide further information about her current medical condition.
Does the essay show that painting treats dementia?
No. Fishman says painting helped him process his experience and cope with his mother’s memory loss. The essay does not claim that art treats dementia or changes its progression.
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